FOLLOW THROUGH NUMBER ONE

So I have been thinking a lot about my word of 2011 - follow through - and the importance of following through - no pun intended - on what it all really means. Sure its great to have a "word of the year" but what good is it except to look so on top of everything you even have an annual word if nothing really comes of it. And here is where the problem lies, I chose the word follow-through because that is an area I would love to edify in myself, but obviously this is at times a very weak area for me and so the cycle begins. I believe I need to get a little more specific. What does follow through mean to me. It may mean completely different things to different people. And since I so love lists they make my little heart aflutter as I write them, organizing what I feel are the loose strings in my mind - here is the first thing on my list of what is most important to me to follow through on and be consistent with.

1. My Daily Time With God

I am just so tired of the cycle and feeling like a failure in this area. I know it too well, God touches my heart in a whisper, or a song, or a sermon, or a book, and I am emotional, feeling how he truly does care about the things in my life, and I truly desire to draw close to him, to be in love with him, to make spending time with him in devotions, prayer, listening to praise music, just being silent, the TOP priority of my day, my life. I know spending this time with God will only benefit me to, keeping my attitude right, giving me the perspective I so desperately need at times.

So I start setting the alarm and arising early and sharing the quiet morning time with him, and I am refreshed and refueled, and more patient. Then some of the emotion fades, and I know my relationship with God is not based on how I feel but it is such a motivating force. And life takes over - a fussy baby kept me awake from 1 am to 3 am I cant get out of bed this morning, it is just so cold I just want to stay in bed, blah blah blah. Until I realize its been a week of missed quiet morning time and with each missed morning the next one seems easier to miss. Its not that I cant talk with God throughout the day but if i miss that golden quiet morning time its not quiet the same with two rambunctious boys, two dogs, a cat, and a spontaneous husband to contend with.

I want to follow through consistently with my quiet time with God. And I will. I have to be careful to not get too caught up in black and white all or nothing thinking which is so me.

Dear God - I believe you want me to be successful in achieving a consistent quiet time to hear your voice. You have so many things you to share with me through your word, music, or a quiet whisper. Please give me your strength when mine is non existent to prompt me out of bed in the morning. Please remind me of how much you completely love me and blow on the flame of love I have for you, knowing any relationship that I desire to become stronger is one I need to spend time on. Thank you for all your grace and your willingness to forgive me again when I feel like Ive let you down again and am just a big failure, hopeless. Thank you for seeing something better in me than I can glimpse in myself. Thank you